


Stay

by IzStardust



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, HitsuMatsu-Freeform, Older Woman/Younger Man, Platonic Love, This can be taken as something romantic or friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzStardust/pseuds/IzStardust
Summary: Rangiku didn't like to open her eyes and find herself completely alone, but after all, he was never there. HitsuMatsu and GinRan. Some OOCness. One-shot.
Relationships: Hitsugaya Toushirou/Matsumoto Rangiku, Ichimaru Gin/Matsumoto Rangiku
Kudos: 17





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Ran's birthday some months ago but I didn't post it on this platform until now. I hope you enjoy it!  
> P.S. Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language and I'm still learning!

**Stay.**

**…**

**.**

Rangiku didn't want to open her eyes. She hated that feeling of waking up completely alone.

At first, it would sound like a nonsense, a childish and foolish fear with no reason to get the best of her. She herself tried to think of it that way. But the feeling was still there, crackling in her chest, burning deep inside her heart since almost one hundred fifty years now.

It started when she was a child. When she used to wake up and find Gin nowhere near her, only finding her own sandals alone on the entrance of their tremulous hut which was barely able to cover her from the merciless snow.

Leaving her that way without saying at least a goodbye buried different feelings in a part of herself that no other than Gin knew. When he found her, she was dying, and she didn't care about her life at that moment. She even thought her death was for the best. Her life before Gin had been ridiculous cruel. She fought always for surviving that poor world which was fair only to a few ones and the rest could have gone to hell for free. When Rangiku thought she had some strength to help herself to overcome rough times with no home and no food, some men just came to her to pull out of her that kind of force and then laugh at her and her fragile body, some of them even dared to touch her tender skin.

She didn't want to remember that. She almost destroyed those memories and decided to fill the holes their left inside her with Gin's memories. He had fed her. He had helped her to get up and to walk towards his hut. He had covered her with some thin blankets since it was all that he had. He had lit a little campfire and then he just started to talk. His voice was warmer than the blankets and the fire. She felt comfortable and safe hearing his talking even if she was so tired that she didn't even pay too much attention to whatever he was talking about. It just felt good. It was like his voice was the lullaby she needed to get a good sleep, without fearing the night.

When she woke up, Gin was still there, sleeping carefree to her side but not too close to scare her. He was shivering a little since all the blankets he had, had given them to her and he slept only with his clothes covering him. Rangiku was still tired and her eyes felt swollen and damp. All that she knew was that in her dreams she cried for having found a friend and a safe place and then, when she opened her blue eyes, she found out that that dream was, in fact, true. It wasn't a dream and so wasn't her tears. She moved a little to get closer to Gin and covered both with the blankets. Then she closed her eyes and started to sleep again.

And from then, every time she would wake up, Gin would always greet her with a wide grin and some jokes to tease her and to improve her mood. They would go outside of their humble hut to find some food, to wash their faces in the river and to carry some water to their little house. Their life was simple, and even if they didn't have too many clothes or running out of food was something normal to them, they always had the company of each other. It was all that they needed to not give in.

Or at least that's what Rangiku had thought, until the day she woke up and then couldn't find Gin anywhere. He had left her in the middle of the night like a thief who knows how to be quiet in order to take something precious and snick away with it. That thing he stole was Rangiku's heart.

He came back after a few days, and then after a few weeks and then, the weeks became months. What was at first anger in Rangiku's chest, developed into a deep sadness and solitude. She felt homesick most part of the time, even if she was in _their_ house. But even if there was the wooden hut, the thin blankets and a whole a tray full of persimmons, Gin wasn't there.

_Gin was her home._

Suddenly the sunlight entered to her room through the window in the wall next to the side of the bed she was lying on. It felt like the earth's star was stretching out its warm hands just to wipe away the tears that were thrusting to slide out of her beautiful eyes down to her cheeks. She was lying of her right side so the light touched her whole face.

The sun's light caressing her face just made her remember she was alone. And that feeling cut deeper inside her mind since yesterday had been her birthday.

The lieutenant wasn't sure if she really liked her birthdays as she liked other's. Of course, she liked to party, to have lots of drinks and to dance all the night long, but she also had always liked preparing a perfect gift for the birthday's person because it was always a perfect excuse to show love and affection towards a friend. But when it was _her_ birthday, things seemed quite different and time moved slower when she just wished it ended faster. It was quite hypocrite of her every time she yelled excited to congratulate her friends when their birthdays came and at the same time being unable to enjoy her own birthday, wasn't it?

They had thrown her a great party. Kyoraku had allowed all the captains of the Gotei 13 to stop their work and leave their offices early just to join the party that the SWA had prepared for her with the help of some other people like Shuuhei, Ikkaku and Yumichika who where the ones in charge to get the drinks —the ones who knew the best which were her favorite drinks, actually.

Even her captain was in the mood for leaving their office early. It had been a surprise party so Hitsugaya had lied Rangiku telling her they were to take a break just to have dinner for her birthday, but he ended up walking her into the party with everybody yelling at her in amusement of her astonished face as she looked at the room with all the food, lights, music and gifts all over around with the decoration.

Hitsugaya's complicity with the surprise party would have seemed strange and way too weird to her some years ago, but since the Thousand-Years Blood War finished and it appeared they could finally managed to reach a not too fragile peace, her captain became more relaxed and started to smile at her more. Rangiku couldn't complain about it.

She was happy for her party. She really was. But then, the necklace posing in her chest started to blaze against her skin. She remembered when once, at Orihime's house in the living world, they watched a movie about a magical ring and a company of friends in charge to destroy it. The little man who carried that ring felt it like a huge weight over his shoulders and that's exactly how Rangiku felt at the moment she thought she could be loosely happy in one of her birthdays.

_"A hoop and a chain?"_

_"Well, you can see it that way. But it is a necklace I made myself"_

_"It's beautiful" she smiled at Gin. He grimaced at her._

_"Although… it is not only a necklace"_

_"What do you mean?"_

The necklace she always wore was her first birthday's present. It was Gin's present.

_"The day we met is going to be your birthday. What about that, Rangiku?"_

When Gin said that, she never imagined those words would become a curse. She was happy for gaining some guts to keep living thanks to Gin and his tenderness towards her. When they met, Rangiku was quite indifferent about her life, she seemed always tired and careless, even cold. Gin, on the other hand, used to smile at her truthfully, not using that spooky grin he wore most part of his life just to protect the true nature behind him.

When they reached their adulthood, they were no longer the same persons as when they were kids. No one would be able to imagine a cold-hearted Rangiku or the sweet and pristine Gin and _that was_ the bound the used to share. They knew this hidden part of each other no other would ever know.

None of her friends knew she started to drink so she would stop feeling cold.

It was one of those times Gin abandoned her. It was winter; the sea of snow covered all the ways along the district and people were not able to get out of their houses. She was thinking about Gin, wishing him to be with her so she would not be worried about him out there with all that icy and white rain covering him.

She had lit a little campfire and covered herself with the blankets; not the thin ones Gin covered her the day they met, but with wider and warmer ones they managed to get some months ago. But it still felt cold.

Gin's voice wasn't there.

Before the snowstorm hit the district where she used to live, one of her neighbors handed her a couple of bottles of sake. He told her to drink them hot and they would help her to handle the cold. She had thanked him without knowing the effects those drinks would have on her.

She liked it. The first coups of sake felt strange but by the pass of the time, she started to feel better at her own feelings. She even started to laugh at her thoughts even if she was alone. She lied on the wooden floor and felt her head dizzy and laughed again.

" _Imma break dis damn bottle on Gin's head when he gets here"_ she said to herself and blustered in laughter without realizing her tears were there too.

After drinking too much she fell asleep. It was a long sleep and she really enjoyed it because when she woke up, felt recovered emotionally even if she felt her mouth dry. But then, reality hit her on her face again.

Gin wasn't still there.

_"Don't go, Gin. Please, d-don't…" she couldn't finish because of the light sobs sinking her voice at the back of her throat. She embraced him, both lying at each other's side, sharing the blankets. Gin frowned a little and embraced her._

_"I won't. Don't cry, Rangiku"._

_"Promise?" asked her, resting her head over his chest. He nodded._

_In the warmth of his arms, she felt safe again. Gin started to talk with that accent of him, it was her personal lullaby. His voice was soft and gentle, and it was better than the sake, it made her feel comfortable and it used to take away the cold crashing at her heart. She trusted him; she really did._

_The next morning, she woke up all alone._

It wasn't different that morning, though. The night before, she got drunk sinking her face in vodka and drowning her throat in sake, then she ate, she sang and danced and got Izuru, Hisagi and even Ikakku half-naked and laughed at that fact the whole night. Rangiku was even able to get Hitsugaya to drink a couple cups of sake and made him toast with her. The party should have gone wild at that point. The lieutenant of the 10th division would pride on herself if later she finds at least half of the Gotei 13 with a funny hangover.

A little smile appeared on her lips at that thought. But then, the loneliness that always came after a night full of excesses struggled to settle on her eyes. Why? Why the hell she felt this way? It wasn't just fair that after decades she hadn't been able to get over her childhood memories and fears. It was stupid.

She tried to dissolve those feelings and started to convince herself to get up from bed. She didn't know what time was but probably it was late —and for sure her cute captain would not be pleased to see her arrive late at work.

When she thought about it, she recalled that the one who carried her to her room was actually her captain. Rangiku remembered herself giggling as Hitsugaya scolded her for not being able to hold back on taking him to the dance floor. He was guiding her taking her hand in his. It wasn't strange, considering Rangikus inability to walk by herself thanks to the dizziness all over her head.

But then she noticed his hand was warm. It felt good.

_"Here" had said Toshiro as he helped her to sit down at the edge of her bed. He kneeled in front of her to take off her sandals._

_"Captaaain! Are you going to ask me to marry you?" she had asked in a merrily and teasing voice. She was joking about the position they were in, of course, and continued to giggle when she saw him rolling his eyes "I'm sorry, I'm already engaged! It's not you, it's meee!"._

_Toshiro raised an eyebrow._

_"Oh really? A bottle of sake's not good husband material, you know" she growled at the joke but just to fake anger. She in fact loved his sarcastic humor and was used to it._

_"Of course, I'm not going to marry a bottle of sake for God's sake!"_

_"Then?" he continued, half paying attention, half concentrating on taking her flip flops off so she could sleep. "I cannot imagine who's the lucky one"._

_"It seems you don't believe in my words, but I'll show you!" the determination in her voice was quite strong (and that was weird taking in consideration her state) and somehow Toshiro felt it wasn't completely a joke. He lifted his head to watch at her and saw Rangiku taking her necklace in her fingers. "See? This is not a necklace! It is an engagement ring!"_

_He had frowned a little and seemed really concerned._

_"Didn't Ichimaru give that necklace to you?" he questioned with a soft voice. She could see him a little tense._

_"Yeah, when we were children. He said, 'maybe when we become grownups, dis hoop become an engagement ring for ya' and I said 'Oh, really?' and then he said 'Yeah, why not?' and then I said "Hmm, I dunno. Maybe it's a good idea! How many years?' and he answered, 'How 'bout one hundred and fifty?' and I almost choke and was like 'Is not that too long?' and he just said 'First I need to fix some things n' prepare other things of course' and well, stuff like that…" she started to chuckle hard "Isn't that stupid? Two kids pretending to marry when they didn't even know nothing about it"_

_Toshiro stood up. He had watched her laughing without her to realize her cheeks were red and her tears covered them. One could tell she was crying because of her laughter but it wasn't the case. Toshiro knew they were tears of sadness which called out a name that was no longer able to answer back._

"Shit" thought Rangiku as she remembered that. It seemed that at the end of the night she got to play the fool in front of her captain. She knew Toshiro wouldn't scold her for something as her crying miserably over her memories of Gin. Her captain was quite comprehensive and even if he did not like Gin that much, he always respected the opinions and feelings she had on him. Actually, what made her feel stupid was her clumsiness to keep those feelings for her. Wasn't she supposed to be older than her captain?

"Well, older not wiser" she muttered to herself. Then she sighed heavily.

"Seems you are already awake"

The woman almost froze when she heard his voice.

Slowly, she turned her head and looked over her shoulder.

_He was there._

"Captain…"

Toshiro was sitting at the top of the bed. He seemed tired; some bags hang under his normally gorgeous teal eyes. He was still wearing his shihakusho and his haori.

"Good morning"

"When…? Why…?" she didn't even know what to say. Toshiro frowned but then smiled softly.

"Don't you remember? You were the one who asked me to stay".

_"Stay, please" Rangiku almost pleaded to him, holding his wrist helplessly "I don't want to be alone when the morning comes… Not again"._

"You are here…" she mumbled, rolling onto her back and then sitting to look at him.

"Well, there was not much to do about it" said Hitsugaya, gazing at her gently. "I've watched you sleeping thousand of times at the office. It wasn't different here; we just changed the room".

"You are here…" she repeated and then, went to embrace him. Toshiro flinched a little for the sudden hug, but after some seconds he relaxed and caressed her back. "You are always here".

"And always will".

Oh, she knew. _She knew._

 _"I'll stay. I won't leave you" he had said, as he seated beside her, running down his fingers gently on her hair. His hand was warm even if his whole person screamed cold._ _She was already lying on the bed, her face half covered by the pillow and some strands of hair._

 _"Promise?" She asked, closing her eyes to let the last tears run down over her face._ _Her voice was broken._

_"I promise" then he wiped those tears with his fingers. He smiled at her to give her some comfort. There wasn't the need to give Rangiku a speech about how she needed to let her feelings for Ichimaru go. He just let her be because facing those feelings that were buried down her soul was what she needed. There would never be enough words when it comes about milestones of the heart. Hitsugaya knew that._

_And she wasn't facing them alone._

_He was there. He was there._

And when she opened her eyes, he was still there.

For the rest of her life, he kept by her side.

She no longer feared the night.


End file.
